From Romans 12:2 NLT

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

It seems especially pertinent today to be reminded of this verse.  Life with two young ones has been especially tough recently.  It’s taken a toll in more ways than I’d imagined.  When I was pregnant with my second, I never imagined life to be like this…on the brink of being unmanageable.

I feel like I have nothing left to give, except my flaws, my imperfection, my sin.  It breaks my heart that I feel this way.

It’s easy to know where I’m being tested, where my failures come from.  Being a mother has tested my will, my patience, my self-control to its outer limits.  When I reflect on where I failed I see my poor choices-not sleeping earlier, unwilling to let go the belief that my time is no longer my own.

Why is it hard?  It’s the constant battling with my two and a half year old.  The constant attention my eight month old requires as she rolls on the floor every which way, her only way of transportation at this point.  Making sure Elle, doesn’t choke on a toy that her older sister enjoys playing with but is the exact size in which Elle would be able to stuff down her throat.  The eight month old is teething.  So much crying and yelling on both their parts.  Not knowing when it will end.

I t doesn’t sound all that bad.  But at this particular moment, the doubts are loud, the failures even louder. They come like a flood.  Can I do this?  How do I stop being angry when my two and a half year old , a mini me, when she again feels the need to exert her will over listening to what I’m asking her to do.

That’s why this verse seems necessary.

Pray.

Pray for that transformation.

Pray for a new way to think.

Pray to ask what God’s will is for me today.

Pray for grace that is Jesus today.

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